Nearly there

Another 48 hours and we will have left Liverpool. The moment I am really not looking forward to. There have been many farewell occasions in the past two or three weeks, all of them bitter-sweet. We have so much appreciated people's warmth and friendliness towards us, their well-wishing and expressions of appreciation for the last 20 (and in some cases, 40) years. It is true, you don't realise just how much impact you have had on a person's life until the time comes to leave them. I have been really humbled by things people have said, and memories recalled which I had not even noted in the first place. I guess that's one of the joys and blessings of ministry. It will be so sad to leave, but we do so believing that this is God's will for us,who has surprised us with this little adventure before I retire.

We are delighted - and amazed - at the number of people who have said they want to come to the licensing service on the 17th. It's a long way to come, and we really appreciate the support that is being shown us. Maybe others sense, like us, that it's something of an adventure?

We've had a couple of 'final' visits to the City. Last Thursday, something which we had booked months ago, before we knew we were leaving: a performance of Mahler's 2nd ('Resurrection') Symphony at the Phil. It really is the most astonishing piece of music, and something of a signature tune (if a symphony can be just a 'tune'!) for my life. Written when the composer was only in his late 20s, he had suffered several recent bereavements, which led him to reflect on his own mortality. Mahler was not a Christian himself (though he converted in order to obtain a top conducting job later in life), but he wrote a piece which defiantly proclaimed the defeat of death - perhaps more for this life than the next. As our pre-concert lecturer said, Mahler was about life after life rather than life after death. Nevertheless.allowing this marvellous music, sorrowful, lyrical, triumphant, glorious, to wash over you for 1 1/2 hours - especially as a Christian, who does believe in life after death - is to enjoy a heavenly experience. I am moved to tears every time I hear it.

The other City visit was to the Cathedral yesterday, for the morning eucharist.  It seemed appropriate somehow, as that building has had a special place in my life these 40 years. What I will miss, I reflected after both these visits, was the sheer size and scale of Liverpool's buildings. Their grandeur is so impressive and by contrast Cockermouth is miniature - but of course has many other delights to offer both resident and visitor. We look forward to more exploring.

I took a couple of days last week to have some quiet, engaging heart and mind for the new challenges. I read a lot of Cockermouth's history, which goes back possibly even further than Liverpool's. Some of it quite controversial too, especially with the historical rivalry between 'church' and 'chapel'. I wonder how much of that remains, however vestigially.

While I was away, I meet a fiery black Pentecostal. He wanted to know what I thought of gay priests. I said, 'Well, it's a fact - there are gay people and there are gay priests'. Then - as I half expected - he launched into a tirade. He seemed less interested in what I thought; more concerned to tell me what he thought. It was a bit embarrassing at the meal table, but I decided to engage in the debate. 'It's an abomination to the Lord', he said, quoting various OT scriptures. I asked him what Jesus had to say on the matter. He couldn't think of anything (that's because there isn't!), and I asked whether that was not significant given it is Jesus we follow and not OT law. Not the point, he said.  I then asked if he if knew a) any gay people and b) any gay Christians. 'No' to both. I suggested maybe it would be a good idea if he did, then he could hear their story and understand a bit better the kind of issues gay people have to face - including others' prejudice.

He then shared something of his story: a converted drugs dealer and gangster. So...if he could be 'delivered' from that kind of life, so could a gay person from theirs. I pointed out that there must have been a time when he wasn't into that lifestyle; a gay person would say that they had no choice. However, I did make clear that I believed a gay Christian must be just as chaste and faithful as a straight one, if they were to fulfil the law of Christ.

My companion then told me (us) about his training as a preacher, and how he wanted the 'pow-er' (emphasis on the first syllable), believing that God really could and did totally transform people's lives. Difficult one that: because I believe the same. But I think that has much more to do with where one's life is centred, and the fruitfulness that flows from that centre (Christ) rather than fixing on one particular aspect of a person's identity. I asked him why he felt so strongly about this one particular issue.  I might just have well said to my friend that God wanted to deliver him from his blackness.

I mention all this, because I am aware this man was expressing a view which he had learned from his own particular culture. Knowing how, historically, black people have been enslaved and abused, could this be a reason why they feel so strongly about another persecuted minority - as if, somehow, to alleviate their own sense of despair and anger. In fact, is it human nature to construct a values system around a perceived 'enemy' when one has been a victim oneself?  Might this be a factor in helping us understand Islamization?

The day is nearly over. Les and I have been so grateful for the help of family over this Bank Holiday weekend, and we have just enjoyed a final takeaway meal with them. The next two days will be long ones. Next time in Cockermouth. By the way, should I name-change from 'Harthill musings'? Any suggestions?