Neither Here nor There

Last Friday, Les and I passed another milestone on our journey to Cockermouth. The removal men came to our flat in Dalton (60 miles south of Cockermouth, in Cumbria) and we completely emptied the place of all our furniture. I must admit, tears came to my eyes as we left it for the last time - at least for the time being. Over the past 7 years, it has been a place of rest, refreshment and retreat, not just for us but for family members and friends. Somehow, just 24 hours there seemed enough to recharge my batteries. We've concluded that we are unlikely to use the place while in Cockermouth. Although not that far away in miles, it takes almost as long to get there from Cockermouth as it does from Liverpool, and since we often used to drive there late at night it's not a journey we would relish. Also, because all our family and many friends remain in Liverpool, we imagine - indeed have promised! - that short breaks will often happen back here. Jude has kindly set up her spare room with us in mind! Whether or not we retire to Dalton eventually we'll have to wait and see, but meanwhile we're renting it out so the income will come in handy.

It feels like a kind of limbo at the moment. Neither here nor there. The process towards appointing my successor is under way, and of course I have no part in that. Plans are being made for the future, which pass me by. The diary is fairly empty as I attend fewer meetings, though we have enjoyed many social engagements. And there are various 'last times': my last wedding last Saturday, and my last visits to St Barnabas and Mossley Hill churches last week and my last christening yesterday. Have I taken my last funeral? Don't know. That's not a request by the way!

Meanwhile, there are phone calls and emails to Cockermouth as plans are made there for the move, for the licensing service (17 May) and for the first weeks in post. Rota-planning for the next 3 months is well under way. It's an in-between time for many of us, at the threshold of new beginnings.

The same could be said nationally. Auspiciously or not, we move into our new home on Election Day! Currently we are in between governments, and like many others I find much of the electioneering very dispiriting. So much of it seems to be point-scoring against one another, and the appeal to the electorate often seems based upon our self-interest (who will make us wealthier?) or our baser instincts (who will deal with immigration?) There is little to inspire us with a vision of a more just, equitable, healthier society, and almost nothing to do with Britain's place in the world. A complete absence of foreign policy, it seems. Meanwhile, we hear of hundreds of desperate refugees drowning in the Mediterranean Sea met with silence from our leaders (the Archbishop of Canterbury excepted), when there must surely be a role for a compassionate Britain not only in helping with rescue but, more importantly, addressing the causes of such mass migration. Of course, one cause is our own historical foreign policy.

We have the dilemma of whether to vote tactically or for values and principles. Les and I will have a postal vote for the first time, as we shall no longer be in Liverpool on Election Day, but not quite resident in Cockermouth either. Neither here nor there.

There's a new book I must try and get hold of. It looks like someone else is picking up on our theme here of the church being for the blessing of the world. Graham Tomlin's book, 'The Widening Circle - Priesthood as God's Way of Blessing the World' has just been published, and although it's particularly about ordained ministry I hope it's also about the priesthood of all believers, called as we are to be 'communities of blessing'.

Being neither here nor there has a theological significance too. We are citizens of heaven while inhabiting the earth. Learning to live as belonging to one while living in the other is a real challenge to Christian people.  Next Sunday will be my last here, and - as it follows our Annual Meetings - the morning service will include a special prayer of dedication, as we all face our different futures. It includes the following words:

May we be at home in any place, for the whole world is yours.                                                            

May we, with our hopes set on eternal peace, live also as strangers in the land.

Perhaps because of my being 'in between', I have returned to a song which meant much to me years ago. It includes the title 'anchor of my soul', addressed to Jesus. This may not be your style of worship, but go to this video, and I hope you will be inspired. The singer is Lara Martin, and the song is entitled 'Voice of Hope'. You can find the lyrics elsewhere on YouTube, but they are clear enough in this live recording.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n_1B4VpXhI

Enjoy!

A Passionate Woman

It's rather ironic that, having written about stress last time, we should hear of the dreadful, nightmarish aeroplane crash in France, allegedly the act of a suicidal pilot. Somehow, I think there is more to this and I am not convinced that it is quite as we have been led to believe. Normally, suicidal tendencies relate to self-harm or self-destruction not calculated homicide. If the man was depressed, and it was deliberate, this could be a most extreme example of how alienated people can become in today's world, and mental illness is misunderstood or ignored. Surely, somebody must have noticed there was something disturbing about his behaviour or his demeanour?

Last weekend, Lesley and I went up to our new parish in Cockermouth, this time just to explore. We were fascinated by the history and geography of this 'Gem Town', and are really looking forward to going to live there. It feels very strange still serving here in Liverpool while planning ahead for a new life in Cumbria. Someone we know in south Cumbria wanted to know if I'd been a 'naughty boy' - being sent up to 'Red Indian' country in the north! We're past the point of no return now, with the removal firm booked, phone and internet connections sorted, and the first service rotas planned! I've even got my first wedding with two more in the pipeline.

On Monday night, I watched the Richard Dimbleby Memorial lecture by Martha Lane-Fox. http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/speeches/2015/martha-lane-fox-dot-everyone. She is a passionate woman - passionate, that is, for the internet and its seemingly infinite benefits (at least, according to her.) Fox is a highly successful, wealthy entrepreneur who has made her fortune from the dot.com business. She is also a remarkable human being, having survived a near-fatal car accident which damaged her pelvis so badly that some 28 operations were required before she could walk again. Her mobility is still impaired. Her thesis was that we have scarcely begun to appreciate the scope and value of the internet. She described it as a new 'institution', to which everyone could belong regardless of age, education or background: Dot Everyone. She pleaded for business leaders and politicians especially to wake up to its potential. She has even started an online 'Dot Everyone' petition to influence the new Prime Minister!  The greater part of her lecture was devoted to a passionate description of the possible benefits to our society, as one might expect from one who has made her fortune from it. She believes that UK could become a world leader in its development, and prosper greatly as a result. She devoted some time also to the question of ethics and proper controls, realising the many ways in which the internet has been abused for example in pornography, fraud, and trolling in social media. However, I was left somewhat uneasy: to belong to an institution is to be part of something bigger than we are and - most importantly - with an identifiable membership and a clear constitution, instruments of government etc. The whole point about the internet is that it is so vast, so expansive and expanding that it is quite impossible to define in the way an institution normally would be. What would be its values? How could it be organised? It all began to feel a bit Orwellian. Is it not rather a tool, to be taken out and used as and when required, not used as a substitute for human contact and relationship?

That said, I have no doubt that she is right about one thing: we don't use the internet to its full potential. I have been saying that in our churches for some time, and find it frustrating that good, up to date, fully functional websites are not seen as a priority. To misquote General Booth of the Salvation Army, 'why should the Devil have all the best media?'

Back to my own 'passionate woman' (aka Lesley!) On Friday, we watched the film 'Twelve Years a Slave'. I hadn't realised this was based on an autobiography, which made it all the more compelling and shocking. I particularly noticed the use of silence in the film, allowing the pictures to speak for themselves, to capture an expression or a scene for full effect.

It took me back to our holiday last year in Antigua. You just would not think that human beings could be so unbelievably cruel to another. In the slave trade you see the roots of today's racism, as our conversation with a local man revealed to us there. What is particularly hard to grasp is that many of those concerned in those days were God-fearing men. Just a couple of days ago, I came across some material about Liverpool slave merchants, who saw no contradiction in commending to Almighty God their ships' voyages, when setting out to purchase more black people for the slave markets in the West Indies. Now if the internet could be used to help change attitudes like these for the better, that could only be good.

The 'S' Word

Zayn Malik, from boy-band One Direction, has flown home from their latest tour because of 'stress'. Being far from home in south-east Asia, the object of adulation by thousands of female fans, having to fulfil constant demands from managers and the media - no doubt all these factors have contributed to the breakdown of his mental health. Then there were the photos of him hand in hand with an unknown woman, while still in a three-year relationship with his girlfriend at home.

The number of people succumbing to stress has reached alarming proportions. According to the Mental Health Foundation website (www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-a-z/S/stress/), 13.3 million working days per year are lost to stress, anxiety and depression. Mental health generally seems to be a matter of increasing concern, particularly as there seems to be insufficient funding for its treatment. When there is a high-profile casualty, such as Zayn Malik, one becomes more aware of its prevalence.

Stress seems to be closely connected to 21st century lifestyles and life choices. There is a world of possibilities all around us, and the pressure seems to be that 'because we can, we should' - and if we don't, we are either boring, unadventurous or weak. Much of this has to do with the massive increase in computer technology which opens up an infinite variety of possibilities and makes the workplace a much more challenging place to be. Because things are possible they become essential. We are losing the ability to make wise, sensible choices based not on what's possible but on what's right and necessary for human wellbeing.

Two words or phrases have struck me of late in this connection. First, there was Jean Vanier (Founder of the L'Arche communities, and just this week awarded the Templeton Prize) who gave a lecture in London entitled 'Why the strong need the weak.' This was an address about 'the common good', and Vanier's starting point was the question 'what makes us human?' He pointed out that among the fruits of the Spirit is 'patience' - a quality rather lacking in today's world but which is essential for our common humanity, especially in relation to those who are physically or mentally weaker than ourselves. The 'strong' benefit when they are required to slow down, to notice those around them, to be less driven, to be in community.

Which leads me to a term I heard only recently, but apparently has a growing currency: 'self-compassion'. According to Dr Kristin Neff, this has three elements:

1. self-kindness - the ability to take care of oneself, not to judge oneself too harshly, nor to dwell on one's failures or short-comings
2. common humanity - to recognise that failure, pain, weakness are common to all people so we not only need not to feel inadequate but, still more, to see it as our responsibility to care for others who are struggling.
3. mindfulness - a fast-growing movement, particularly in highly stressful situations, which uses Buddhist meditation techniques to centre on the present moment: neither regretting the past nor fearing the future. There are both Christian and non-religious versions of this.

During Lent, we have been thinking about the mercy of God and we have shared lots of stories about times in our lives when we have been rescued from situations beyond our control, or restored to life and health out of a time of desolation. More often than not, 'mercy' is a divine quality mediated to us through other human beings. But there is also an element of personal responsibility here, and the choices we make. Because we can, does not mean we must. 'Hardening of the oughteries' is definitely a common dis-ease!

In the autumn of 2007, I was myself signed off work for 3 months with 'stress'. This was put down at the time to bereavement, following my father's death and a 72-hour vigil at his bedside, with hardly any sleep. Our much-needed summer holiday had been lost, following several months of ridiculously long hours at work. Essentially, I was exhausted - physically, mentally and spiritually. Of my many recollections from that period, I remember one recurring mental picture. It was of a devastated landscape, ravaged by some kind of natural disaster, where everything had been flattened: buildings, crops, walls and fences. I remember thinking clearly that what was needed was to rebuild the boundaries, to put up fences (not walls, which are immovable), in order to demarcate the areas which needed attention. So began a long journey towards creating a kind of mind-map, and some new disciplines which enabled me to foster a healthier, less stressful lifestyle. Giving myself permission not to work so hard - exercising self-compassion! - was key to this.

By God's grace and mercy, and the kindness of my doctor and those closest to me, I got back on the road. I hope Zayn does too - but he will have some hard choices to make.

End of Sabbatical

Well, that's it then. End of sabbatical. Back to work tomorrow for 3 months, and then off to Cumbria. Still can't quite get used to it: certainly not what I intended at the beginning of November. I've managed to catch up with a bit of study over the past few days, but there's also been some stuff to do with the move e.g. setting up the licensing service. (5pm, Sunday 17 May if you want to come. Tea from 3.30pm, so those travelling can be refreshed on arrival and get away fairly handy afterwards.) Today, after church with Chris & Debbie (rocking baby Chloe to sleep during the sermon!) I've been tidying the study in readiness and begun the task of emptying my shelves of books. I'm aiming to reduce by 50% by the time we move!

I've particularly enjoyed reading a new document published for General Synod next month, called 'Growing the Rural Church.'  Where I'm going is not entirely rural - Cockermouth is a small town - but the difference in scale between here and there is pretty enormous. This parish has a population of 23,000 whereas the entire population of Cockermouth is only 8,000! And the population of the villages which also form part of the Team is only about 1000 each. One of the things I think I will have to get used to -as the document makes clear - is that the church is often more 'enculturated' (sorry about the jargon!) within the life of the local community than it is in the suburbs. So you tend to find the same people active in both church and community, and the major festivals of the year have a greater significance. In other ways, as the report suggests, the challenges are the same: helping people to be the church, rather than go to church, being much more collaborative both within churches and across denominational lines, and - for clergy - learning to be 'episcopal', encouraging and promoting the ministries of lay people rather than being the minister.

At my interview, I was asked if I was good at delegating. I said I think I am, in the sense that there are certain things I am not good at and others do better. But I went on to say that maybe the question implied that ministry belongs to the ordained person who shares his or her ministry with others. Not so: ministry belongs to the church (well, actually to Jesus!) not the vicar. As I sometimes say, 'it's not the job of lay people to help the vicar run the church; it's the task of the vicar to help lay people change the world!'

It's not all been serious stuff while I've been off duty. There was the holiday in Antigua, Jude's building project, and several family events, including a triple birthday party yesterday. I've enjoyed finishing work earlier in the evening than usual and watching more TV. Silent Witness is a favourite of mine, and I'm specially enjoying Wolf Hall on a Wednesday night. The lighting is so good that it not only makes the production seem more authentic but it also helps to give that sense of foreboding around the court of Henry VIII.

I've also read a fair bit of fiction. I enjoy a good crime thriller, and have been working my way through the Swedish Millennium trilogy (not in Swedish, I hasten to add!): The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo/Who Played with Fire/Who Kicked the Hornets' Nest. The author, Stieg Larsson died sadly at the age of only 50, by which time the 3 manuscripts were with his publisher. Lisbeth Salander is a kind of anti-hero, subjected to terrible abuse as a child, a damaged person as a result, but with phenomenal intelligence, great physical strength, a strong moral compass and immense courage. It's one of those stories - of intrigue, corruption, crime, political cover-up - which makes a great story but you can't help wondering whether it's rather too close to reality. Larsson has a particular concern for the abuse of women and the power of good journalism. It's well written, and the violent and sexual narratives are neither gratuitous nor indulgent. Not sure I'd want to see the films though!

Sabbatical 10 (The Leaving of Liverpool)

We've been away this past weekend: my brother-in-law's 60th birthday, down in Rugby. A good time to meet up with my family, and meet some of his friends too.

While we were away, 'the announcement' was made: we will be leaving Liverpool at the beginning of May for a new post in Cockermouth. I will be Team Rector of the Cockermouth Area Team, consisting of 4 churches: 2 in the town, and 2 in outlying villages. (You can check it out at www.cockermouthareachurches.org.uk.) This has come completely out of the blue, and yet seems to connect in many ways with what has gone before. For one thing (and not a lot of people know this!), I think I am a country boy at heart. I was brought up the son of a vicar in rural Hertfordshire, where I lived for most of my childhood. When we first came to Liverpool in 1975, neither Les nor I thought it would be for more than the 3 years of a first curacy! I have often thought I might serve in a rural parish, but it has just never happened - even though I have applied. It seems that every time we thought of moving, God said 'Stay in the city'. So we have.

But I love to be in the country, especially the hills and lakes of Cumbria. Seven years ago, we bought a small apartment in the less touristy area of Dalton, not far from Barrow, south of the Lakes. We have loved to go there for occasional breaks, and enjoyed exploring the whole area around the Furness peninsula. We had wondered about the possibility of eventually retiring to Cumbria (diocese of Carlisle) but more recently we had been thinking it would be Liverpool, mainly because all our family are here now. My sabbatical leave had a two-fold purpose:

• to draw breath, listen to God, and consider what my priorities should be here in my remaining years before retirement
• to begin to prepare for retirement (when & where?), and do some more work on coaching and mentoring, as a ministry I might offer when the time comes.

We had been back from Antigua less than a week when I was texted a message: would I like to consider this post in Cockermouth? The person spec seemed to fit me. I laughed! Moving now was not remotely in my thoughts, but it seemed as if God might have other ideas. So, early in December, Les and I travelled to our flat, and from there spent a full 12-hour day in Cockermouth. We visited all 4 churches, talked with countless people (including an extremely helpful and supportive Archdeacon and Team Vicar), and arrived back in Dalton buzzing. Would I apply? Yes I would - so I filled in the requisite form, nominated 3 referees (thank you - you know who you are!) and waited. Just over 2 weeks ago,we were back in Cumbria, this time for interview. First, there was a presentation to an invited audience of 70 people, representing the 4 churches in the Team, other denominations and the local communities. This was followed by a Q&A and social time. The following morning, there was an interview by a panel of 12 and subsequently I was offered the post.

It was a very good process of discernment, I thought. I'm not just saying that because I got the job! It enabled a large number of people to be part of it, so I can go not only sensing that I am called, but knowing that others think so too. The amazing thing is that, as far as I know, though a large number of people met me, knew my name etc, there doesn't seem to have been any breach of confidentiality. So huge thanks to all concerned. And thanks especially from both Les and me to all those we've met so far who gave us such a warm welcome and seemed so eager to support us on this journey.

Now the news is out, the reality is setting in. Packing up after 20 years, down-sizing in the process! It will be such a wrench leaving behind family, friends, and a city we love. There have been many warm messages of support, encouragement, and appreciation of our time here. So thank you if you are one of those. We won't be that far away of course, and I'm sure we will return often. And - who knows? - maybe we will retire here after all. But it looks as if that could be 5 years away now - if all goes well! Meanwhile, I might keep chickens, if I can first persuade Les!

Sabbatical 9 (Two Popes)

Lesley and I spent last week at our apartment in Cumbria - more of that next time. We arrived back last Saturday, in time to go to Wigan on Sunday morning for the licensing of a good friend to her new post as an associate priest in a parish there. A new initiative is under way for the mission of the Church (of England) in Wigan, and I can see her having a significant role within that.

I  have been reading recently the work of two Popes, 1500 years apart! I have always wanted to read the epistles of Pope Gregory the Great (c.540-604, and Pope from 590). He it was who sent Augustine, later of Canterbury, to England at almost precisely the same time that Columba arrived on Iona (c.597). Thus the British Isles were evangelised in a kind of pincer movement, of  Romans from the south-east and Celts from the north-west. Gregory was Pope at a very turbulent time politically, following the break-up of the Roman Empire. There were violent incursions from the Lombards, who threatened the very gates of Rome, and Gregory struggled to gain authority in both secular and spiritual realms. Yet he had a pastoral heart, which is why he sent missionaries to England, hearing about her lapse into paganism. Once he had arrived, and people were becoming Christians, Augustine had a number of pastoral issues for which he sought the advice of the Pope. Several of these related to marriage: should clergy marry? can certain degrees of blood-relations marry each other? for example. Another related to how soon after child-birth a woman may enter church!...

The one that interested me most, however, concerned the temples of idol worship. Gregory's advice was that they should not be destroyed, but the idols within them should be. ...If these same temples are well built, it is needful that they should be transferred from the worship of idols to the service of the true God; that, when the people themselves see that these temples are not destroyed, they may put away error from their heart, and, knowing and adoring the true God, may have recourse with the more familiarity to the places they have been accustomed to. (Epistle LXXVI)

There is something humble and incarnational about this approach to mission. In a different tone and a very different era, Pope Francis writes with a similar outlook today. I just love his Evangelii Gaudium (The Joy of the Gospel)! He writes from the heart with a profound understanding of today's world and the human heart. For example, writing of city-life, he writes New cultures are constantly being born in these vast new expanses where Christians are no longer the customary interpreters or generators of meaning...This challenges us to imagine innovative spaces and possibilities for prayer and communion which are more attractive and meaningful for city dwellers.

Today, we may not have any obvious physical temples of idol worship (although maybe we could name a few?!), but that sense of the Christian faith inhabiting and purifying existing cultures provides an interesting comparison. Both popes challenge their readers to be bold and creative. Be prepared for more quotations from Evangelii Gaudium!

Sabbatical 8

There's been a bit of a gap between blogposts, as last week I was away on retreat. This was with the Community of Aidan & Hilda, of which I am a member. Every January the 'Voyagers' (i.e. committed members, as distinct from 'Explorers' and 'Friends') spend the inside of a week together. We hold our Annual Meeting, with the usual reports, but mainly spend time in learning, prayer and fellowship together. This year's theme was 'Celtic Spirituality and Mission': we were reminded particularly of the communal life and prayer of our Celtic Christian ancestors, and how for them 'mission' was a natural outworking of their lives, not an add-on. Somehow, today, mission so often feels like something you have to do in addition to all the other things associated with being church. In fact, in those days, mission was the very essence and had as much to do with being Christ's presence in the world as with any particular activity. It flowed from their inner life, as persons and as community.

The phrase I came away with was 'in the Name of Jesus'. Not because anyone was speaking about this in particular but because for me it summed everything up. The Name of Jesus provides the incentive for all we do, giving us confidence; it calls us to account for all our words and actions; it is also the assurance that nothing we do for his sake is ever wasted, even if we don't ourselves see any result.

Among the news items last week were the shootings in Paris, with its aftermath of the street Je suis Charlie demonstrations, and the Archbishops' warnings against social inequality. International terrorism (the clash of ideologies), the gap between the very rich and poor people, together with climate change, seem to me the three greatest challenges of our day. They are all connected, of course. The recent TV programmes by Jacques Peretti, The Super Rich and Us, have shown how great the gap is, with (apparently) 85 people owning 50% of the world's wealth. The worrying thing, though, is how most billionaires just don't get it: Countess Bathurst, who appeared in one of his programmes and who organises polo matches on her country estate, said the problem belongs to the poor, who are envious, don't appreciate how hard wealthy people work, and the worries they have! The programmes showed how the super-rich live in a kind of bubble. The worst thing for me, though, was that social inequality has come about, in this country, by the deliberate policy of successive governments since the 1980s. It has suited them to make London the financial capital of the world, because the wealth of the few gives the appearance of a flourishing economy when in fact the opposite is true.

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown, writing in Sunday's Independent, says 'Democracy will collapse and aspiration will die unless we turn back from this disastrous ideology (of 'trickle-down' economics). ...When the masses have nothing left to lose, they may rise and light a bonfire of vanities.'

The Community of Aidan & Hilda has its own version of traditional monastic vows: simplicity, obedience and purity. These qualities, lived out in today's world, stand in real contrast to some prevailing attitudes and may just save the world, as Christian mission centuries ago helped to rescue Britain from its Dark Ages.